The One I Want Is You
by xXSadisticChiibiiXx
Summary: "I know that I took something very important to you as well, and no matter how much I show you how sorry and regretful I am, it will not bring her back. In your memories, that night's events will forever live...and I can't do anything but to watch you hate me." WARNING: Language. GRELL. YAOI. CielxGrell. NO LIKES NO READ YO! OuO
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's Note:**_

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So I've been receiving less and lesser feedbacks from my stories...

And this saddens me very very much...

/cry

If this continues, I'll be taking a break from writing fanfics...because I don't really see the point of continuing without people who enjoy reading them you know? It's a waste of time and effort. QnQ And it is also where I get inspiration to continue writing since only few writes a SebaGrell fics now.../sobs

But before I gooo~ I just really wants to post something for my most favorite crack pairing of all~** a CielxGrell fic~!** YAYS! OuO **So NO LIKE, NO READ YO~! **

**And also, to those few people who always makes me know that they enjoy my writing, SANKYUUU VERY VERY MUCH! ! ! I AM VERY HAPPY THAT YOU LET ME KNOW~ I LOVES YOU GUYS VERY VERY MUCH~ YOU LOVELY PEOPLE YOU~~~ *hearts***

And to those who make my beloved CIEL girly, and all tsun tsun dere dere shoujo-like uke to pair with Sebastian...I HATE YOU ALL WITH GRELL'S PASSION. ** Ciel is my forever SEME! QuQ**

**That is all. ****Hopes you likes this story~ OuO I be posting le final chapter tomorrow~ I don't understand anything anymore...I should be asleep now in 3'oclock in the morning...ughuu. So forgive my grammatical errors and stuffs...I be fixing them tomorrow too so please tell lil me if you spot them~ QuQ**

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**_______The One I Want Is You  
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_Rated: T  
__Genre: Romance, Hurt/Comfort  
Pairing: CielxGrell_

**_DISCLAIMER: _**_WE DO NOT OWN KUROSHITSUJI/BLACK BUTLER OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS. WE ONLY OWN **THIS FANFICTION STORY **ITSELF._

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. . . ~*SC*~ . . .

"Ronnie! What should I do?! My Sebas-chan is ever so cold to meee~! No matter what I do, he remains cruel to me! I don't know what's the problem because he won't talk to me nor even take time to look at me-"

Ronald Knox watch his superior pace around and flail and wail in his small office with a surprised and bothered expression. Grell just suddenly burst from his door one random morning and had started blubbering about his 'Sebas-chan' problems again. This made him concern even just a bit, besides his senpai's love for 'darling Will', it looks like the redhead is more serious about his undying love for the demon butler under contract with the Phantomhive Earl...well, it seems like it it.

But whichever way you look at it, a reaper and a demon is a very bad combination. He can imagine the redhead going all berserk in London reaping everyone's soul just to feed his 'Sebas-chan' if the demon asked for it. He can actually see it happening. Maybe he should help their supervisor William to stop his senpai's madness? But as a _good friend_, maybe he should.

"Woah...uhh, why are you saying all this stuffs to me Grell senpai?"

Grell paused from his blabbering and dramatic gestures to glare at the young reaper, slamming both his palm at the desk between them, his height with the help of his heels looming over the poor half-blond. "Because Ronnie, you're my FRIEND! And you're a GUY too! You should know what the problem is, right?!"

"Ehh, but senpai you're a gu-"

Suddenly roaring blades of a chainsaw is at his face in a very close proximity, daring him to complete whatever he is about to say.

"What was that Ronnie darling~? You were saying~?"

"Ahaha...ha...n-nothing. I was saying maybe- how should I put it...? Uhmm..." Ronald said nervously, raising his both hands in surrender.

Grell raised an eyebrow at his friend, hiding his lovely chainsaw in Ronald's relief.

"How about this, think of something that you hate the most."

"The Phantomhive brat." Grell answered instantly. Because it's true. He hated the brat the most. Yes.

"Okay...now think about this, think about him trying to cling to you and kiss you. What will you feel about it?"

". . ."

Grell stared into Ronald's face confuse, why would he do that? What is Ronald trying to- suddenly images of Ciel trying to cling to him and kiss him started popping in his head.

_Ever so gently, smaller hands reaching for his face, Ciel's doll-like face inching closer and closer to his until smaller soft, warm lips-_

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Grell squeak in his most horrified expression ever, turning away from his underling. His face a burning hot red. "No...no...that cannot be...what...what was that?!" He shouted, his both hands pulling at his hair in sudden frustration and disturbing feels.

"Senpai, your face is red..."

Silence.

Grell then turn to face the half-blond with teary eyes and nose that is still bleeding so heavily.

Ronald almost face-palm. "Senpai...don't tell me you liked the thought of it...?"

"Wha...no! How could I...how could I?! This is all your fault!" Grell retorted, pointing an accusing finger to his friend's face.

"Wha- but I thought you hated that kid?!" The half-blond finally yelled in his own frustration. How did it come into this? How is it his fault?

"I do! I..." Grell then sniffles. "Uwaaaaaaa! Ronnie that cannot be! I don't like that brat! I hate him so much I could kill him anytime with my lovely chainsaw if not for my darling Sebas-chan! This must be some kind of a trick! This must be a joke!" He then took a pause like he realize something. "Ronald you bastard what are you trying to make me think?!"

"No, I think you're just a pervert senpai."

"Shut up! We already know about that fact!"

"True." Ronald agreed, nodding to himself when the roaring blades of Grell's chainsaw was once again back nearing his face with a full intention to harm this time.

"You are not really helping Ronald you ass." Grell grins sadistically. Inching his chainsaw to the poor half-blond's face.

"Not the face! Please not the face! Senpai calm down! ! !"

"This is not right! We should make a plan to get my Sebas-chan close to me Knoxie~!" Grell cried in desperation.

"Yes, yes. How about putting your chainsaw away from my handsome face as a first step! Good idea huh?"

Yes that's right, he will make a plan and finally Sebastian will love him forever and ever! Grell thought in full determination, ignoring his friend's pleas and instead be in a very deep thought on his fantasies with his darling Sebby. On what could happen when Sebas-chan finally loves him...the thrills of a forbidden love...

_"Grell, I want you..." Sebastian murmured sensually in his ears, his hands touching every smooth skin of the redhead that he can reach. _

_"Ohh Sebas-chan~" He moaned, clinging more to his beloved demon._

_"Grell." Sebastian moaned back._

_"Sebas-chan~" Grell moaned again, closing his eyes at the feel of Sebastian's hands all over his body._

Suddenly in some unknown reason, instead of his Sebas-chan's face when he opened his eyes, it was Ciel's face smirking down on him in his time of passio-

"AAAAAAHHHHH!" Grell screamed horrified again, frantically waving all the imaginary images of _Ciel on top of him_, resulting for his hands to flail around with his chainsaw scaring the crap out of his underling.

"Senpai, calm down! Wait- AHH! ! !" Ronald was able to dodge one of Grell's swing of his scythe again but his desk and chair unfortunately did not. His office was being trashed with a disturbed and obviously confused redhead but the most scary part is that William will sure scold him to death with this instead.

Ronald cannot take it anymore, how did it come to this again?

Finally, he double face-palm.

. . . ~*SC*~ . . .

Grell finally went to London after trashing the poor half-blond's little office to collect some souls for the day, stomping his feet in his every step in frustration._ 'That bastard Ronald. This is all his fault, making me imagine such a thing- why did he even do that?! What is he thinking?! And why did I even did what he said?! Idiot, idiot, idiot!' _He thought angrily to himself, pulling at his poor hair once again.

"Grell. What the hell are you doing?" A familiar bored tone suddenly said, surprising the redhead out of his thoughts.

Grell's eyes widen at the sight of the child he was just trying to kill in his thoughts, standing there in front of him looking so bored as ever with his beloved handsome butler standing next to him. But instead of screaming his heart out to the demon butler, his focus was with the earl that keeps on disturbing his peaceful and perverted fantasies all this morning since he went out of Ronald's office.

Pointing an accusing finger on the earl's face, he shouted with a passionate hate, "You! I will never like you, brat! ! !" before stomping off leaving a confuse butler and master on the street.

Ciel raised an eyebrow at the redhead's behavior. "What was that about, Sebastian? Did you do something without my knowing?"

"I do not know, my lord. And I do not do things without your consent." Sebastian politely said, not bothered one bit at the redhead's odd behavior.

"Hmm." Ciel only hummed, dropping the topic completely and continue on his way being bored for the rest of the day.

Grell huffed in annoyance as he make his way to his next reap, still not done murmuring his hate towards Ciel Phantomhive with passion as red as his victims' blood. If he could only murder that child in his most brutal way then maybe all his frustration will finally leave him alone and of course, Sebastian will be now his alone.

'_Why can't that brat just die already?!'_

In his rage, he had reaped his next victim too early. The evil rich old lady should have died of heart attack in her sleep, but even before the poor lady get to sleep that afternoon, Grell had so madly tear her apart with his chainsaw already, reaping the ugly lady's soul unconsciously in his super frustration and disturbed feelings. Gritting his teeth, he went back to their realm all tired and drained from expressing too much hate the whole day.

Maybe tomorrow, after he sleep peacefully tonight, everything will go back to normal.

Nope.

Not at all.

It's been a week and still, Grell is freaking out. What the hell is happening to him? No matter how many times he remind himself how much he hated Ciel Phantomhive with a passion, all he can think about was Ciel. To the point that all he can see is also Ciel. Ciel there, Ciel here, Ciel in his dreams at night and day, Ciel everywhere! It was like...

It's raining Ciel~

Hallelujah~

It's raining Ciel~

Ame-

Grell shook his head almost comically. His brows furrowed in concentration._ 'Focus, self~! FOCUS! You can do it~! You can get him off your head! You can-'_

_Ciel reaching his both hands for the redhead to take. "Come here, Grell. I will love you-"_

"What the hell?!" Grell suddenly shouted, unconsciously standing frantically and expressing his feels in one of his disturbing daydream _again_.

"Sutcliff. If you have any complains, do so after I'm done talking!" William growled at the redhead. They were having a meeting regarding a very dangerous and important mission and he was still in the middle of explaining things when the redhead decided to act crazy- not like Grell is not_ always_ acting crazy. But, yes, the case they were having a meeting about is indeed very dangerous that they, specifically William, accept the help of a certain demon under contract in London.

Grell flinch at William's voice, looking around like he just woke from a dream, which has a bit of truth in it, and uncharacteristically apologizes for his behavior. Everyone in the meeting which only consisted of Eric, Alan, and Ronald, raised an eyebrow at this. But Ronald may have an idea for his senpai's anxiety.

"Then how about just let little Red here to go work for the case? Besides he work well with the demon butler instead of us." Eric suggest, which Alan nodded in agreement. But Ronald was a bit hesitant about it.

William consider the idea, but he was hesitant as well. Having Grell work with the demon had a higher risk of the mission to fail than be a success. Not only the redhead will be out of focus with the demon around but also the redhead will become a big nuisance for the demon butler to work at his best. But if you thought about it carefully, only Grell can work side by side with the vile creature. None of the other reapers would really want to be even just a meter close to a demon, so working with them is out of the question.

Specially not himself.

Never in his reaper life will he work with a demon.

Specifically THAT demon.

"Alright, you are to work on this case Sutcliff. You'll be staying at the Phantomhive's while in this case. Please try to focus and not make a fool out of yourself this time."

Grell blinked, William's words _slowly_ sinking in his brain._ 'Staying at the Phantomhive's...staying...Phantomhive...Ciel...'_ With wide eyes and a terrified looking face, he had throw his person to his supervisor and yelled in William's face. "What?! NO! NO WAY! Why me?! I don't want to! I WILL NOT! _I don't like_ that brat! NEVER!"

William took a deep breath, trying his hardest not to snap at the redhead's sudden close proximity and practically yelling at his face. "No one said about you liking that child-"

"Of course! Because it's true! I hate Ciel!"

Ronald mentally face-palmed. _'Senpai...really, you're very obvious...'_

William rubbed the bridge of his nose with his fingers, tending the upcoming headache. "I thought you'd be the one eager to work in this case to be with that disgusting demon."

"...Sebas-chan?"

"Yes..._that._" William only nodded, not even able to speak of the demon's name. He hates demons the most with Grell's passion.

"I can be with Sebas-chan...?!"

"Yes. Are you even listening to me when I speak, Sutcliff?"

Grell stare at his supervisor's face for a moment. The news should have excite him already and made him jump around like a fangirl but no...he felt nothing at all...

Why is that? Sebastian is the only thing he have ever wanted, after William of course, but now...what?

How?

What is with this confusing feeling inside him? First of all he has no reason to LIKE Ciel Phantomhive. 13 years old children are not his type. He prefer a more manly, sexy, and hot men like his Sebas-chan. Maybe if Ciel grew a bit more, he can consider-

"Grell, are you feeling alright? You space out a lot this pass days. And your face is red..." Alan said in concern, waking the redhead out of his thoughts again.

"Eek!" Grell immediately covered his red face with his hands. "I'm fine! No worries! ! !"

"If you really don't want to, then too bad for you Sutcliff. I already made up my mind." William then said, a smirk ghosting the side of his lips, though unnoticeable.

Glaring at his 'stuck-up in the ass' supervisor, Grell huffed in annoyance but did not argue more since his head was a mess at the moment. William is most of the time a pain, and you ask why he choose Sebastian over him. Finally, when everything is agreed upon, everyone went back to their respective offices except for the redhead who will have to go back in his apartment to pack his things and prepare for his mission in London.

Grell sighed. He should just finish this job as soon as possible, he doesn't need to interact with the Phantomhive brat to have this case done right? Sebastian is all he needed to interact with.

Nope.

Not at all.

Standing in front of him once again was the great noble Ciel Phantomhive, next to his butler as usual, staring at him with his usual bored and uninterested expression- sometimes Grell wonder if the child had other facial expressions like-

_With a smirk so manly and enticing, Ciel reached a hand to his chin and tilt his head towards him, "Grell..." he whispered like honey in his ears before the other's lips descended on his to close the gap between-_

"Sutcliff." William growled in gritted teeth.

Grell blinked, coming back to his senses. Seeing first the earl's uncovered eye staring at him, he blushed so red you could see smoke from it from burning. Ciel raised an eyebrow but Grell only returned it with a glare, sticking out his tongue childishly and then huffing in annoyance, turning away from the young earl.

William rolled his eyes. "Then, I leave him now into your care." Leaving almost instantly after, not really wanting to be near the demon butler for long.

Ciel opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted before he can even say a single word.

"Don't talk to me! Brat! And don't touch me too! ! !" Grell shouted immediately before stomping inside the manor like he own it, passing by the two without knowing where his room to be is.

Ciel looked at his butler in a questioning manner but the butler only shrug his shoulder not knowing what it is going on with the redhead as well. The young earl sighed. "Show the idiot where his room is, Sebastian. We will talk about the case first thing tomorrow morning. I doubt he will be any of help to us in his current...mood."

"Yes, my lord."

"And...try not to snap on him."

"Of course." Sebastian bowed and Ciel wave him a dismissive hand before returning to his study room.

Sebastian sighed. He had a bad feeling about this. His master suggest that they offer help to the reapers when in truth, they are the one in need of a reaper's help. They needed the reaper's so called 'To Die' ledger to track the deaths of children around in London. The victims are all children and their deaths are all a mystery but after their mysterious deaths, all their memories to the ones they left behind have vanished as well as though they did not exist in this world. When the Yard interviewed the families of the deceased, all they say is that they don't know what the investigators are talking about and that they don't have a child who just died.

The fact that the children's soul are missing as well, gives Sebastian and the earl a foreboding feeling that a demon is involved.

Sebastian sighed again. The Undertaker was out of the question in physical support, and the only candidate who can offer full help is the redhead. He just hoped the redhead would be a real help this time. Grell did helped them a lot of times in the past, he have to admit, but just this once maybe he could be more serious about the situation at hand? If a demon is involve or another immortal being, then it might be a big problem.

The butler started his searched for the idiotic redhead but said redhead found him first after a moment. And with his high pitched moan of his _pet_ name, as usual.

"Sebas-chaaan~! Ohh darling, I think I'm lost~! ! !" Grell cried with his most dramatic gesture, before clinging to the butler's arm.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "I will show you to your room. Please follow me."

Grell nodded, grinning like he normally do but the butler notice the redhead's lack of enthusiasm that he always has around him. As soon as they reached the reaper's temporary room, Grell only thanked him and went inside his room without any more fuss. Sebastian was a bit surprise at the redhead's lack of attention towards him, but somehow this have him feel relieved and so he leave the matter at that.

. . . ~*SC*~ . . .  
_**TBC.**_

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_xXSadisticChiibiiXx:_

D'awwww~ why so TSUN Grell~? OuO What will happen now then~? Ohohohoho~ The last chapter tomorrow before we say Bye-bye~ QuQ

Chiibii: NOOOO! ! ! NOOO! ! ! UWAAAAAAA! ! ! /sobs /flail /wail /bawl /crawl in depression o(TT n TTo)

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**_Please REVIEW! I am forever addicted to them~ QuQ  
Sankyuuu for reading yo~! *hearts*_**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Author's Note:**_

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**_Sankyuuu very much for your reviews in le first chapter you lovely people~ I knew I was not the only one who likes this unusual pairing! OuO_**

**ImJustThatAnimeFan** - I'm soo happy you loves the story and that you find Grell cute too~ QuQ Sankyuuu very much for letting me know! *hearts*

**Pozagee** - Sankyuuu for liking my stories despite my lack of professional writing style yo~ QuQ /coughs I knooow too, I really needs a beta~ waaaaaah! Please check your inbox, I sent you a message regarding your offer to beta read my fics for me~ QnQ

**ZombiesKisses** - Oohhh deary~ You makes us always happy with your reviews~ (oTT u TTo) You never miss one of my stories I think. XDD Sankyuuu very much! We appreciate you letting us know you enjoyed reading our fics! It's really nice to know someone enjoy our works despite its poorly written grammar. XDD You're our favorite Zombie forever and ever and ever~ *hearts*

**To the awesome anonymous** - Sankyuuu very much! I'm glad you loves it too~ QuQ

Sorry this got delayed...I was hoping for this chapter to get beta-read but.../coughsPozageecoughs XDD

Anyways, **hopes you enjoy this chapter too! OuO** I will not be focusing at the murder mission something because I'm not really good with sherlock stuffs...TT 3 TT) and that I think solving cases cannot fit to be in a short story yo~ And also, I cut down this chapter because I deem it too long for a second chapter. *rolls* So I be posting another chapter but you can rest assure that it will be the final last chapter I promise! ! ! XDD

IMPORTANT: Please don't be confuse with this chapter. I'm not following any verse in the anime or the manga as I usually do not. XD So, no telling me things that I wrote the scene wrong or it it did not happen that way or it's not like that stuffs. XDD

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. . . ~*SC*~ . . .

"To do that, we need your- Grell, are you listening to me?" Ciel growled in gritted teeth. He had been talking about the matter at hand and their plan for hours now but all the redhead do is sit in front of him and look around the study room instead of making eye contact with him.

"Of course I'm listening!" Grell huffed.

"Then please stop wondering around and focus your eyes on me, will you?"

"I don't need to look at you when listening! I don't like you, brat! ! !"

Ciel groaned in frustration. "And I don't like you too, now can we get this over with?"

Grell frowned, finally looking at the young earl in front of him. Somehow, hearing Ciel say that hurts him a little...okay, a_ lot_. But why? They have insulted each other a lot in the past and it was very clear as well that they don't like each other...then why now that it affects him? He can't possibly like the earl suddenly just because Ronald had made him imagine inappropriate things about the brat...right? He must really be a pervert...

Unaware of the sad and teary expression of his face, he averted his eyes to the side and away from the young earl again.

Seeing this uncommon behavior from the redhead, Ciel felt a _little_ bit guilty. "I just want to make sure that you understand what I was saying."

Grell only nodded, not taking his eyes off the floor still looking sad like he was being scolded by his mother.

Ciel sighed. "I'm sorry, okay? I like you a little bit...I think." He then coughs awkwardly before giving the demon butler beside him a glare when he heard him snicker from behind.

Grell's eyes widen and he beamed happily in an instant at the young earl's words, it was almost funny how fast his expression and mood changes with only hearing some words. "R-really...?"

"I guess...?" Ciel said hesitantly, a bit confuse himself of why he is trying to console the redhead.

"You like me~?" Grell breathed the words softly, almost moaning it.

"I don't like repeating myself."

"KYAAAAAAAH~! ! ! I didn't know you have a crush on me, Ciel darling~!" Grell squeal, blushing like a highschool girl who was able to have eye contact with the most handsome guy in school. And now all giddy in his seat the way he usually is.

Ciel's fingers automatically rubbed the bridge of his nose, tending the headache he is now getting from the idiot in front of him. "Will you listen to me now?"

"Yes, of course~! Anything for my secret admirer~! ! !" Grell squeal again, almost jumping up and down in his seat in excitement that Ciel didn't even know from where.

And Sebastian cannot take it anymore but to cover his mouth with a gloved-hand to silence his amused laughter. And Ciel had finally given up on making the redhead be serious at the matter at hand. He doubt that he could ever made him in the next days as well.

In the rest of the afternoon, Grell stick close to the young earl, but not too close, like his loyal butler. But not to fangirl around the child or do butler stuffs, but to stand or sit farther away to only glance at him every now and then while_ blushing_. And when Ciel caught his gaze, his face would turn bright red and will shyly look away. It was rather crazy even for himself. When did he ever get_ shy_ of all things? He was never SHY. He don't even know that word exist.

"Grell." Ciel suddenly called.

"Yes~?! What~?!" Grell answered instantly with much enthusiasm than needed, being surprised out of his own thoughts.

"My, aren't you a bit too enthusiastic for tonight." The butler smiled, trying to hide his amusement.

Grell blushed again._ 'What the hell...STOP BLUSHING GODDAMMIT!' _ He scolded himself. Why does he keep on blushing anyway? It was not like him. NO. He's not a virgin highschool girl who wanna sleep with his crush sitting in front of him. If he wanna do that, he will rather attack his unsuspecting victim and ravish them like a sexually frustrated person.

Ciel did not look even a bit amuse, his brows only furrowed in bewilderment at the redhead sitting in front of him. The annoying redhead had been blushing and glancing at him the whole afternoon and behave like a good child instead of annoying him and his butler and throwing suggestive things or insults at him. It was questionable and very suspicious. Maybe the red reaper has something bothering him and he was shy to ask about it?

Nope, Ciel doubt it.

And nope. Even if he's wrong, Ciel will not ask about it either.

"You're not eating your food." Ciel only said with his usual bored tone.

"Ohh...I'm not hungry..." The redhead replied, a bit distracted with his own swirling thoughts.

"And stop staring at me, _please_."

Grell was surprised, he did not realize that he had been staring while his thoughts run wild. Seeing the annoyed expression in Ciel's face, he sighed sadly to himself. Of course Ciel will be annoyed with him. William did. Sebastian did. Everyone did. What's the difference with Ciel? The fact that he tried to kill the boy many times before and had also successfully killed his aunt. Ciel had no reason to like him one bit...

But, so what? It should be fine with him. It can't be possible that he really likes Ciel, right?

_'That's just...'_

"Sorry..." Grell said sadly, his head low hiding under the curtains of his beautiful red hair.

It was then followed by an uncomfortable silence. Grell just apologized and Grell NEVER apologizes, not even what he did was VERY wrong. Ciel being stubborn and ignoring the redhead still, Sebastian sighed to himself and speak for his master instead and also for the betterment of the atmosphere. He's not one to do this, specially to Grell of all people, but in this situation maybe he could have an exception. And besides, the redhead looked _sincerely_ bothered.

"You look down. Perhaps you have something bothering you, Grell?"

Grell look up at the butler with wide eyes. "What? No, no! I have nothing...I'm not thinking anything! ! !" He said immediately, forcefully shaking his head and waving his hands in front of his face, looking all more guilty than he have denied.

Surprised at the uncharacteristic action of the redhead, Ciel and Sebastian had looked at each other with a raised eyebrow. The butler gestured for the earl to speak to the redhead this time but Ciel still refused to talk, but of course this kind of stubbornness will never let the the butler slide. Inching closer to his master until they are face to face, smiling sadistically evil, he spoke. "It is only polite to be concern with your guest, Bocchan. Or did you already forgotten? Perhaps I have to make you remember?"

Ciel shudder at his butler's creepy smile and close proximity. Groaning in annoyance, he coughed awkwardly before speaking. "You obviously have something bothering you. Do you want to _talk_ about it, Grell?"

Hearing those words, Grell can almost cry in happiness. He was touched, Ciel is concern about him too and...and...

He sniffles. And finally cry his heart out, throwing his person to the other side of the table where the young earl was seated, surprising the said earl and his butler. Grell sat himself on the young earl's lap like he was not the older and taller one, and probably the heavier.

"Get the hell off me! What the hell are you doing?!"

"Ohh, Ciel~ You were concern about me~?! You're so sweet~!" Grell squeal, practically squishing the poor earl in his embrace.

Ciel was never fond of physical contact. Even being near a human being bothers him. THIS should have disgusted him too. Even though it's not a human being, it's_ Grell_. A gender-confuse idiotic shinigami who killed his aunt and had tried to kill him several times. What happened to suddenly make this red thing all goody-goody and cling to his person? He doesn't remember doing anything to get the redhead to like him. It's worrisome and a horrifying thought. He had watched the redhead act around the people he put a liking to and Ciel don't plan on being one of them.

And isn't being attack by the redhead Sebastian's job?

The earl struggled more but the redhead just had a strong grip on him, and being only human and a 13 year old boy, he's strength is nowhere near the reaper's. Ciel took a deep breath to calm his nerves accidentally having to breath in the reaper's scent. He expected to smell something disgusting like the smell of blood and death, Ciel really wasn't expecting something sweet and pleasant...and the warmth of the other's body close to him is so inviting, it gives him the sudden urge to wrap his arms around the redhead and fully enjoy the embrace.

Ciel does not even feel the uncomfortable heavy weight that of the redhead he should have been feeling right now being the one taller and has a fully grown body. He was very light that Ciel had to wonder if the redhead is eating properly.

But no.

_'What the hell am I thinking...?!' _Ciel mentally kick himself. Snapping out of his own disturbing thoughts, he finally shouted, "Sebastian, help me! ! !"

Sebastian smiled at his master, not really hiding the amusement in his eyes. He didn't know what's happening but if whatever it is is keeping the redhead from throwing himself to his person then he was fine with it. And the redhead's antics around his master is also very amusing, not to mention his master's own reactions.

"I was waiting for you to say that, young master." The butler said, lifting the redhead away from his master and putting him back down on his other side. If the redhead was in his normal self right now, Sebastian was so sure that the reaper would have squeal and cling to him instead. But it looks like the redhead's attraction is now in his Bocchan's person.

Grell pouted at the sudden lost of contact but then cheered and excuse himself to go back to his room, leaving the two in the dining with a flying kiss and a wink.

Ciel groaned, and Sebastian can't help but to smile again.

The next day, Sebastian and Grell was sent out to investigate but instead of focusing on the job, the redhead had something else to focus on about. In his sleep last night, he had decided and finally _accepted_ that he indeed liked Ciel. It's obvious that he likes the child, Ronald just made him realize it. He have no time to be in denial about it anymore, this mission is his chance to get closer to the boy.

And also,_ 'YAY! I'm not a real pervert after all~!'_

Okay, so maybe he still IS, but now only a little. Right?

"Grell, what are you grinning there about?"

Grell looked at the butler in surprise before he beamed at him happily. "Ohh, Sebas-chan~! You will not believe what I just realize last night!"

"Yes, whatever you say. Now please focus, when is the next death to your ledger?"

"Ohh right~! It's ten minutes from now. A child named Alois Trancy..."

Sebastian tsked. "I knew it. It must be that demon...Claude." He snarled.

"Ehh, what?"

The butler did not answer the redhead and just took off immediately, making Grell frantically follow after him. If Sebastian's suspicion is true, he will make sure that the spider demon will die a painful death.

But Sebastian was wrong.

The spider demon's contract with the child was fulfilled, the reason for the child's death. Since it was a fulfilled contract, Grell and Sebastian had let the demon go with the poor child's soul. They don't really plan on interfering and wasting their energy to something they have nothing to do about.

Seeing it happen with his own gold-green eyes, Grell shudder at the thought of this exact same faith his Ciel will soon have to face with the handsome demon beside him once their contract is also completed. What will he do if that time comes? Can he fight Sebastian to save the him? But what if Ciel does not permit him too? He's also well aware about the fact that Ciel hates him with a passion he could ever have.

Why does it that he always falls to someone who hates him? Even for a masochist, it's too much. Because it does not only brings physical pain...but also a broken heart.

"Sebby, I'm tired~! Let's just go back to the manor! ! !"

Sebastian sighed. Since it was already late at night, he agreed.

. . . ~*SC*~ . . .

"Ohh Ciel, my love~! We're back! ! !" Grell called happily, before throwing his person to the poor young earl immediately as he caught sight of him. Being his beloved the smaller one this time, his weight had taken them both down sprawled on the floor.

"Grell, what the hell are you doing?! Get off of me! Sebastian! ! !" Ciel struggled under the giddy redhead before calling for his butler for help.

"But why~?! I'm only expressing my love for you, Ciel~!"

Ciel's face turned pink. "What?! What has gotten into you, idiot!"

Sebastian smiled in amusement yet again. "Young master, looks like Grell had taken a liking to you now."

"Yes~! I like you very much, Ciel!" Grell squeal, nuzzling his head in the crook of Ciel's neck like a kitty. Not really embarrassed at his informal but sincere confession at all.

"The hell! Sebastian, get this thing off of me! That's an order!"

But even before Sebastian could take the redhead away, Grell voluntarily did so. With a hurt expression in his face and a wide puppy teary eyes, he sobbed and childishly run back to his room.

"What was that about?" Ciel groaned in frustration.

"I think you hurt his feelings, my lord."

The young earl huffed. "You do it all the time."

"But his feelings for you seems very sincere."

"How do you even know that?" Ciel growled, not really believing every bit of this game. He have no time to play around with that idiotic redhead, he has more important things to attend to. Turning his back to his butler, he started walking back to his own room.

"He do not run away crying from me when I do so."

Ciel halted. "I...don't see any importance in that, Sebastian." He said before continuing on his way, his butler following behind.

The next morning, Grell was silent, sulking even. He won't look at them, he won't talk to them, he won't go near them. The redhead will just sit himself in a corner and be all sad and sulky and teary-eyed like a wet puppy in the rain, except that there is no rain in his little corner. And this annoyed Ciel even more.

"Young master, I think you should talk to him." Sebastian whispered.

"And why would I do that? He was here to work for us and not to be pampered like a baby-" Ciel started a bit loudly making Grell to hear it very clearly and resulting him to sobbed more loudly.

"Ciel you cold, cold man! Why are you so cruel to me~?!" Grell sniffles.

"Just...ugh. Stop acting like a child will you?" Ciel snarled, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"But...but...uwaaaaaaa Sebas-chaaan~! ! !" The redhead cried to the butler like he was his 'Papa', hiccuping every now and then.

The butler sighed, walking to the redhead in the corner of the room, he drop low to Grell's level and petted his hair. And finally to shut the redhead up, he said in the most comforting tone that he could muster, "There, there. I made a strawberry cake a while ago, it's on the fridge. It will make you feel better."

Grell perk up at the mention of his favorite strawberry cake, instantly stopping his crying. "I can eat it...?"

"Yes, it's yours." Sebastian smiled, proud of himself.

The redhead's eyes sparkle in pure joy before jumping up in his feet and running off immediately to get his cake, leaving Sebastian and an annoyed Ciel in the study room.

"Why the sudden kindness, 'Sebas-chan'?" Ciel mocked.

"Unlike the days he was bothering me, he's very harmless at the moment."

"Harmless?" Ciel huffed. "So you decided to be his parent and care taker because of that?"

"Young master, there's nothing to be mad about-"

"There are a lot of things to be mad about that red thing, Sebastian." The young earl growled. "He killed my aunt, and tried to kill me several times! And now he's running around my house throwing his disgusting being on me and suddenly showing his affections towards me like he did nothing hateful in my part! I have many reasons to be mad, Sebastian. I will not let that thing do just as he pleased around me."

Sebastian was taken aback at the sudden outburst. "I understand. I apologize, Bocchan."

Indeed, Ciel is mad about it. Just being near the redhead was disturbing enough, being shown affection to is disgusting. Whatever happen to the part that they HATED each other? If this stays for long, he will definitely go mad, like Undertaker-mad mad. That kind of madness, yes.

He will have to do everything that he can to finish the case soon to make the redhead go away.

And so, to be able to make sure that the investigation about the case they are working on is being handled as fast as his butler can, Ciel decided to come the next day to investigate as well with his butler and the redhead.

Grell was overjoyed about this of course. He will now have the whole day to be near the boy, instead of only in breakfast and dinner at night after their investigation. Does this make him a pedo? He doesn't really care. Hey, maybe he will be the one to top this time? Staring at the earl beside him, he grins evilly at his thoughts, since he always bottoms...

This creep Ciel out and did his best to move away from the redhead as long as he can in their whole investigation that day. But Grell is always _unstoppable_ in creeping out his beloveds and annoying them with his unwanted attentions. He would playfully cling to the child's arm and be swatted away, but still he will repeat it over and over and over and over and over again...

"Don't touch me! It's gross!" Ciel finally snapped, frustrated at the redhead trying to cling to him the whole day.

Grell's hand stopped mid-way reaching Ciel's arm. He pouted and did not say anything else but it did stop him from making any more physical contact with the young boy. That hurts his feelings a bit you know.

Okay, so it hurts a lot more than just a bit.

But it always happens anyway so... _'Suck it, self. Take it like a ma- woman. A strong beautiful woman! ! !' _He thought, trying to console himself.

"Sorry..." The redhead said softly.

This made Ciel to feel guilt once again, hearing the redhead uncharacteristically apologizing instead of throwing witty remarks is just...weird. Surely, the redhead still have some of that pride in him? Is it that really easy for him to have a change of heart? Hating him to the point of wanting him dead and then suddenly he 'likes' him? _'What a fickle being.'_ Ciel huffed. The redhead likes him _now_ but he was sure that Grell's affections will only last for a few days.

Sebastian stayed quiet as he usually is, only observing the two.

Their walk for Grell's next reap became silent. No one dared to speak, and so it continued until Grell's eyes caught something from one of the shop they were just passing by. It took the redhead's attention fully and made him almost rub his face at the store's glass window. His eyes sparkle with awe and longing, it was just the most beautiful and reddest dress he have ever saw...today. He would definitely want to wear that dress but he doubt his pay check that had been cut down many many times will allow him to. He even need to cut down his food expenses to survive the days until his next pay check comes.

It was that badly cut down by his darling Will.

Grell looked at the dress sadly, almost like saying his goodbye already.

"What are you doing?"

Ciel's cold tone surprised the redhead making him squeak away from the dress store's glass window. "N-nothing! I was just looki- let's continue walking!" Grell said frantically, almost tripping at his words before running off beside the butler who stopped walking further ahead, only letting his master walk back for the redhead.

The earl's brows furrowed in annoyance, glancing next to the glass window the redhead had been staring at like a poor person that can't afford something they want, only to see a red sparkly dress on the display. "Figures." Ciel sighed. Of course it will distract the effeminate redhead. Does this mean that if ever they will be in a relationship, he will be the one to take the man's role- Ciel forcefully shook his head. Of course he will be the one to take the man's role! He will not let that thing top him. NO. Then...

He will top...?

Ciel almost hit his head at the glass window of the store if not of his excellent self-discipline just to stop his thoughts into turning the wrong way. Shuddering at his own disturbing thoughts, he sighed in frustration and annoyance.

_'What the hell...'_

. . . ~*SC*~ . . .  
_**TBC.**_

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_xXSadisticChiibiiXx:_

YAYS at Ciel's thoughts~! XDD Ohh Ciel, youuuuu~ OuO You already thinking of topping my sexy adorable Grell~! ! ! Can't you wait until the last chapter?! *rolls*

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**_Please REVIEW! I am forever addicted to them~ QuQ  
Sankyuuu for reading yo~! *hearts*_**


	3. Chapter 3

_**Author's Note:**_

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_I just **LOVES LOVES YOU** guys for all your reviews~ *hearts*  
You guys get special mention because of that~ XDD_

**ImJustThatAnimeFan**

**MeiRyu **

**lil'peahqueen133 **

**ZombiesKisses **

Aaaand~ I lied to you guys again.../sobs Because I'm bored to death, I re-watched Kuroshitsuji season I and because of it a new idea comes to me and I has to add it up in this fic so this chapter is not yet the last chapter. orz Just gimme your violent reactions if you want this fic to end already...QuQ

**But for now...hopes you likes yo~! OuO**

**GRAMMATICAL ERRORS AND MISSPELLINGS EVERYWHERE~ BEWARE! XDD**

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. . . ~*SC*~ . . .

Several deaths had passed, but still they were unable to find who the culprit is. And Grell had become more and more clingy towards the young earl making the child to be more frustrated about the situation. Many times the redhead had tried to pin him down whenever he caught him alone without his butler, and this made him demand the butler's company at all times, refusing him doing anymore butler duties around the manor just so the demon could protect him from the redhead's sexual harassment.

It was irritating. He even find himself sometimes giving in to the reaper's touches or was he beginning to get used to them? Either way, he does not like it. Being used to the redhead's touches is indeed very very BAD, like Undertaker-mad bad. That kind of BAD-ness, yes.

He will not let this continue any longer. He have always had this kind of hatred towards Grell and being touched by him and treated as his plaything without even considering his feelings is extremely infuriating.

After his parents' death and his suffering when he was younger, he had decided that he will not let anything look down on him or hurt him ever again.

"Ciel darling, my love~! ! ! Your lovely reaper is back! ! !" Grell squeal in his high-pitched voice, slamming open the study room door and trapping the poor earl into one of his embrace yet again. Embracing the young boy had become his regular hobby every time he comes back from the investigation, he don't care even if Ciel hates it.

Sebastian entering the study room after a moment.

Ciel's eyebrow twitched. He stood in his seat with force making the redhead to let him go, and in his most authoritative tone and serious facial expression, he spoke. "The two of you. In front of my desk. NOW."

Grell flinched at the tone the young earl used and quickly throw himself beside the butler, where two chairs are carefully situated.

"SIT." Ciel demanded again.

And both immortal beings do as he say, only Grell was more eager and enthusiastic in doing so.

Ciel seated himself back to his own chair. "Sebastian, report to me."

The butler nodded and was about to start his report when Grell decided to interrupt and be the one to report instead. "We still didn't find anything~! It's so hard! The criminal is not leaving any clues too! ! ! Maybe it can fly that's why-"

Slamming his palm in his desk with force, Ciel stood once again.

"You two...what the hell are the two of you doing?! Why have you not caught the culprit yet?! Of course it will do its best not to leave any clues you idiot! What do you take our enemies for?!"

"Bocchan, I believe we are facing with another immortal being-"

"I don't care! How will I ever avenge my parents' deaths if I cannot even catch a being running berserk in London, taking the lives of innocent children?!" Returning back in his seat, Ciel groaned in frustration, his head slump in his desk.

"Young master..." Sebastian called sadly.

"I want this to end...I don't want to feel alone any longer..."

Grell frowned at the young earl's words. It was sad to think that even though many people around him cared for him, he still think that he was alone. Does he not know what being alone is truly like? "How can you say things like that when...you have everything around you...?" He said softly, almost like a sad whisper. But this only earned him a glare from a furious Ciel.

"You know nothing about me, reaper. My parents died when I was still very young...without them, I have nothing..."

"Heh." Grell laughed bitterly. "I never met my parents once, my nature makes everyone to keep their distance from me. I did things on my own all the time. Never once did I get something that I wanted. And even in my most painful moment, no demon came to me to offer a hand in exchange of a soul. You, Ciel Phantomhive, always got what you wanted, you have Sebastian beside you, servants that are willing to risk their lives for you, friends that are ready to help you in your time of need, and...a fiance that loves you very much. You lost your parents...and you have nothing?" He paused, taking a deep breath before he continued, smiling sadly.

"...That is the reason why you will never understand what it truly feels like...to be alone."

Ciel kept his hateful eye in the redhead's direction all the while cutting him like a knife as the redhead corrects him with those words. How dare he...

Slowly, Grell stood from his seat and walk towards the young earl, taking Ciel by surprise. Taking the earl's moment of surprise, the redhead took his hands on his own and kneel in front of him, smiling sadly he said, "I know that I took something very important to you as well, and no matter how much I show you how sorry and regretful I am, it will not bring her back. In your memories, that night's events will forever live...and I can't do anything but to watch you hate me. But it's okay, you have every right to."

Ciel's eyes widen.

His aunt, _Madame Red_.

So the redhead do acknowledge the murder of his aunt after all. Then why act like it was nothing and that it has nothing to do with his feelings towards him? And Grell was also aware that he hated him? Then why continue his non-sense pursue for his affections? Is this really all a game for him?

Ciel gasped as he felt the redhead's hand touch his face but did not do anything to stop it even if he wanted to, he just can't seem to move away from its warmth.

Grell smiled at him but with a hint of sadness in his reaper eyes, he continued. "But please don't hate everything else. Everyone that I've loved in the past never loved me back even until now. You are well loved Ciel, you should know that. You have a_ home_. You should took notice of them too sometimes and treasure them as long as you have them. I'm here too, even if you hate me, even if you will never forgive me, I will always be here. I will help you avenge your parents, and then...you can live happily again. So please don't say things like that...okay~? You're not alone, Ciel..."

Ciel stare at the reaper with wide eyes. The redhead's words had made him doubt his own decisions, his plans, his beliefs; it made him realize many things...his future. Not only that but it also made him feel many things as well. His words, his voice, comforting and warm; touching his cold and frozen soul that he had the urge to give it all up, all his hatred, and just enjoy the life he have now.

But what is the point of all this then? All his hard work...for nothing? He met everyone because of his journey in wanting to avenge his parents, Sebastian is only with him because of the contract, once his revenge to his parents' deaths are done Sebastian will take his soul and he will die. What is the point of trying to build a new life? All it can do is prolong his awaiting death and weakened him. There is no future for him but death.

He has no future. He exchanged it to feed his own hatred, to satisfy it, to submerged deeper into the darkness.

Ciel clenched his both fists. Why did he do that? Why did he sell his soul and made that contract? But he have no regrets. This is the future that he wants, the path that he chose, he will walk through it until the very end and no one can stop him. And without any hesitations just like when he made his contract with Sebastian.

His hatred is the only thing that he had, he will not let it go.

Live happily? What a very stupid thing to say.

"This is the reason why no one likes you. Everything you say are always _lies_." Ciel murmured.

"Ciel..." Grell reached his hands out, wanting to comfort the young earl further.

"Don't touch me!" Ciel stood, slapping Grell's hands away from him. "Never touch me again." Turning away from the redhead, he continued with the same coldness and rage. "But you are right, I will never forgive you."

Grell was taken aback. Even just a little bit, he had hoped that Ciel will somehow forgive him...even just a little tiny bit, he would come to accept him. Though he already knew his little hope was in vain, he still wanted to believe that it can happen. But it just made it all the more painful. He swallowed the slump gathering in his throat and with his trembling hands away from the earl, he took a step back.

Even though sincerely hurt, his eyes a reflection of his tearing heart, he refuse to cry and instead force himself to smile.

Because in this once again engulfing darkness, it's the only thing that still keeps him...from falling apart.

"Yes, I'm sorry."

"Also, you are dismissed from this case. I don't need you here anymore."

"...Alright. I'll leave then. But please remember what I said, Ciel and...Good luck~!" With his ever deceiving smile plastered still in his face, he said and wink at them in his usual flamboyant self before exiting the study room to pack his things and leave the manor. There's no point in arguing anymore...right?

Sebastian watched everything that happened in front of him silently, not wanting to get involved in their _moment_. But in some point, in the middle of their conversation, he felt a bit concern. For a moment, the redhead had made his master doubt his purpose, his conviction. Thankfully, his master pulled himself back up and did not forget why they are bound in a contract. He is a soul worth waiting for after all.

But will he be able to keep it up until the end?

_'Something to get worried about but...it is getting quite interesting.' _Sebastian thought, smirking to himself.

"Is that the wisest thing to do, my lord?"

"We don't need him."

Sebastian nodded before pulling something out of his coat pocket. "Before I forgot..." He said, putting the small _thing_ gently on the young earl's desk.

Glancing at the small package, Ciel's eyes narrowed. "What is that?"

"Something to help cheer you up. He knew you'd snap sooner or later with our slow progress in solving this case, so he persuade me to help him buy you something to make up for it."

With a last glance, without another thought, Ciel commanded. "Throw it away, Sebastian."

"You don't want to see first what it is?"

"No."

Sebastian was going to say more but Ciel's glare made him think against it. He bowed before leaving the study room to obey his master's order.

. . . ~*SC*~ . . .

William's eyebrow twitch. Twitching in anticipation to smack something rather,_ someone_ in this very moment. Once upon a normal day at the Shinigami Realm, William is having the most peaceful day of his life. With only his coffee, his death scythe, and his paperwork, there can't be anything more pleasant than this day. When all of a sudden a redheaded monster appear in his very door and destroyed everything and everything and everything -William breaths- EVERYTHING with his horrible looking self and horrible information that he carry with him.

"Sutcliff, let me rephrase what you just said to see if I really understand you."

Grell gulped and nodded.

"But let's hope that I did not."

"Ehehe...hehe...anou Will-" Grell started, laughing nervously but William raised a hand gesturing him to 'shut up' in what looks like a calm and_ polite_ manner even though he knew his Supervisor is seething in anger at the moment. He can see it literally emitting from his _sexy_ _and manly_ body. He can't help it, but to trace said sexy and manly body with his eyes, and yes, those cold cold eyes-_ 'Eek!'_ He flinched, meeting the sharp deadly glare of said cold cold eyes.

"You are yet to catch the culprit nor have any idea who it might be, have been DISMISSED in the case by the Phantomhive Earl, and got kicked out of his manor?"

"Y-yes..."

William closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. "Regardless of your slow progress in solving the case, is there any other reason for you to be 'kicked out' of that child's manor?"

Grell averted his eyes away from his Supervisor, laughing nervously still. He can't possibly say that because he started sexually harassing the young boy, specially about their heartbreaking conversation before he got kicked out- probably the main reason.

"Well?" William questioned again, impatiently.

"Uhh..._well_..."

"What did you do this time?"

"Nothing! I did nothing bad Will~! ! !"

"Of course you didn't." William sighed.

Grell pouted. "What's with that sarcasm?"

"Go back to your office and do your paperwork. As for your punishment, you are not allowed to wonder around London until the case is solved."

"What?! But that's boring! ! ! Who are you going to send in exchange of me?!"

"No one. If that child believes that he can handle it better on his own then I will leave it to him. We are under-staffed as it is, I cannot afford anymore late paperwork."

"Butbut-"

"Go, Sutcliff."

Grell was going to argue further but William's death scythe had chased him out easily. It was a very dangerous thing, he will not dare argue with that scythe EVER. It can extend very far to the point that it's already scary, it can reach you wherever you are. Like in your sofa when you're procrastinating in doing your paperwork, or in the bedroom while you sleep, or in the bathroom while doing your _stuffs_...in there.

He shudder at the thought, not knowing to whether it's from the thought of William's scythe or the 'stuffs' he imagined you do in the bathroom.

. . . ~*SC*~ . . .

Just like any other day, Ciel sat himself in his chair in his study room but looking more sullen than usual. It's been two weeks since his talk with the idiot redhead. It's making him 'gloom', from the lack of better word to describe it, and question his self every time he remember their conversation. He can't even believe that those words will come out from_ Grell_ of all people.

Was it really still be possible for him to be happy? When was the last time that he felt it...? He have already forgotten.

Was his decision to make the contract...a mistake?

Ciel shook his head, slumping his head to his desk wrapped by his arms, wanting it to block all the thoughts coming to him. If not for his contract with Sebastian, he will not be where he is now, he will not be someone he is now; without the contract, he might be dead a long time ago.

But_ he_ said he will help him...

Ciel tsked. "Idiot..." Lifting his head up from his desk, he looked sadly at the sky through his window. "No one can save me now...it's too late."

Suddenly, gun shots can be heard coming from outside the manor. Followed by panicked footsteps of his servants and other loud noises of something exploding. Ciel stood immediately and run outside only to witness half of his land burning in large flames. He stood frozen and watched with wide eyes as he saw the angry flames engulfs his land, fast in spreading towards his mansion. Fear quickly escalates inside him.

"Young master! What are you doing here outside?! Please go hide in safety!" Mei-rin called in panic.

It pulled the earl from his shock and immediately run back inside, back to his room. He had called for Sebastian to return immediately from his investigation using their contract seal but it shows no sign of the butler coming soon. Ciel grab his gun and wait patiently on what to happen next, trying to calm his nerves when his window suddenly burst open; white feathers of some kind scattered around as the wind blows them inside.

A female figure then walked inside, a pair of full white wings in his back. Ciel watched her in a mixture of awe and confusion, a kind and sweet smile in her face- it almost scared him. "Who..." Was all he was able to say.

"Ahh, Ciel. How long I've waited for this day to come." She said in a soothing voice. "The day of your purification~ Don't be afraid, all the unclean...I will remove them."

"What...?" Ciel felt like running, but no, he is Ciel Phantomhive, he will hold his ground. He is not afraid of anything. He throw the white figure a deadly glare. "Are you the one responsible for all the deaths of those poor children in London?"

The angel laughed. "Poor children? They were the lucky ones! I've save their soul early from being tainted in the future~ What will you think happen to them if I let them stay for long in this filthy realm? All the unclean, the impure, they all must be eradicated! Save the pure souls of those children before they are tainted, and create a better world for them~ Such a beautiful thing, don't you think?"

"You're sick."

"Don't you want to be saved, Ciel? To be cleansed of all those hatred?"

"Dream on." He snarled, pointing his gun to the other before firing without any hesitation.

The female angel was fast to dodge, but being an immortal being even if that gun hits her, he will still live. She laughed, irking the young earl more. "Don't waste your energy in useless things, you're gonna need it." She smirked.

It was hopeless, he can never win against an immortal being like this._ 'Sebastian, where the hell are you?!' _Ciel panicked, the last thing he could do now is to run, and run he did.

The white figure laughed louder at the pathetic attempt of his prey to run away from her. "You want to play? I'll play with you~"

Quickly on his feet, Ciel run as fast as he can deeper inside the manor where he has a higher rate of surviving until Sebastian arrived, instead of the open field outside where he can be easily spotted by something that can fly. He run and run, but he can't run forever, his stamina is starting to give in. Once reached the cellar, he deem it was safe enough to stop for a while and breath. He look around and took in his surrounding until he found a closet in the very corner and decided to hide inside it.

Ciel tried to position himself more comfortably in the closet's little space but to no avail. He pants as he tried to level his breathing, he was tired and his butler is still nowhere to be found. Ciel frowned as he thought about his current situation. It was saddening how hopeless and pathetic he really is without his butler. He hugged his knees with his arms and lay his head gently low in their comforting walls. In the small dark space he is currently in, he cannot help but to feel even more lonely than afraid. He wanted someone to stay by his side...someone to be by his side no matter what...

_"I'm here too, even if you hate me, even if you will never forgive me, I will always be here."_

A small sob escaped his lips. "Idiot...you say that but...where are you now?" He whispered sadly to himself, clenched his both fists and gritted his teeth as tears uncontrollably started staining his pale cheeks. In the end, he will still be alone. No one to stay with him...no matter what he do, everyone will still leave him. He sobbed even more, how long has he been trying to be strong? He was tired...tired of it...and all he wanted to do now is to cry and let all his build up emotions out like a flood in the last minute of his life.

"I don't want to be alone anymore..." He cried, it was child-like but he IS, after all, nothing but a lonely child. "Grell..." He unconsciously whispered to himself, suddenly someone slam the door open of the closet where he is hiding.

"Ciel! ! ! There you are! I've been looking all over for you!"

Ciel almost jumped from his little seat at the high-pitched call of his name. Rubbing away the blur from his tears, he stare wide-eyed at the redhead standing in front of him, looking seriously worried. "Grell?"

"What are you doing in an ugly and cramped up place like this? You actually have no taste in choosing your hiding spot!" Grell claimed, whining like the place had given him some terrible inconvenience. But Ciel just kept staring at him in disbelief and almost in awe, not saying a single word. He raise an eyebrow at this. "What-" He started again, but was cut off immediately when the young earl practically throw himself at him.

Grell was caught off guard but thankfully he managed to catch the earl in time and balance them both without falling onto the hard floor. He felt him shaking in his arms as he hold him tightly, it was obvious that the child was scared and it push him to tears, he does not need to ask anymore about it. But being a talkative reaper that he is that doesn't really put much thought in his words...he can't help it but ask the poor earl in a teasing manner.

"Were you crying Ciel~? Were you scaaared~?"

This made Ciel realize what he was actually doing and immediately, as he first saw how close their face is to each other, punch Grell in the face in reflex with a strength that Grell is not really prepared of.

"What the hell was that for?!" Grell yelled, rubbing the side of his face where he took the blow. "You brute! How could you hit a lady's face?!"

"Your face was too close." The earl said nonchalantly after composing himself, like he was not just sobbing from the drama of his life a while ago. "How did you know I was here anyway?"

"Your name suddenly appeared in my 'To-Die' list so I immediately run here as fast as I can...and this is what I get in exchange?!" The redhead cried, pouting.

"Shut up. No one asked you to come in here."

Grell sniffles. "Cold..."

Ciel turn away and disregard the redhead's sulking, though in truth deep inside he was truly grateful. And he can't help but to smile.

The ground then started rocking harshly, and the ceiling is ready to fall anytime. Grell immediately grab Ciel and run out of the cellar room trying his best to dodge all the falling walls and ceiling in their path. Ciel yelped as he was suddenly get carried like a princess and even in situation such as this, he was still one to argue.

"Put me down!"

"But it's much harder that way!"

"I don't care! Put me down!" He protest and struggled hard from the redhead's hold.

"Your whole mansion is falling down! And we're still inside! ! ! Shut up! ! !" Grell growled in annoyance._ 'Is this really a good time to be arguing?!' _He thought to himself and almost rolled his eyes._ 'Brat!'_

Grell run as fast as he can, wanting to get to the exit as soon as possible before the whole mansion take them both down with it. But it was hard, the fact that of all places, Ciel decided to hide to the farther and bottom part of his manor. He tsked, re-positioning Ciel in his one arm to use his other arm to summon his death scythe and use it to get through the flying blocks more faster by breaking them into pieces, and also to pour all his frustrations on them.

On the other hand, every part of Ciel's face is now twitching in annoyance, as he was now being carried like a sack of rice in the reaper's shoulder. Bouncing unceremoniously every time the redhead make a movement.

"You idiot! ! ! What do you think you were carrying?! One of your doll?!"

"No, I was sure my dolls don't spat annoying things while being rescued! ! !"

Ciel was about to further their argument and throw another witty comment but it was cut short as the blinding reflection of light on a sword's blade took his full attention. It descended rather fast upon them from nowhere intending to cut them both in half, thankfully Grell is as fast to dodge it.

"Find you~" The angel said playfully, but with a hint of danger in his tone.

Grell groaned. "So it was you fluff balls who's we've been looking for all this time?"

The angel snarled at the redhead's term for their kind. "How dare you! Unclean! I will kill you all!"

Grell flinched at the inhuman sound that the angel create, she was to attack them again but Grell is hesitant to fight her yet. He wasn't really sure that fighting the angel inside a sinking mansion is a very good idea, with Ciel still in his shoulder. They will definitely not survive this together. So instead of fighting the angel back...he run.

And this only made the female angel snap.

"Idiot! What do you think you are doing?!"

"I'm running!"

"I can clearly see that!" Ciel groaned in annoyance.

"I can't fight her yet! Your mansion is still sinking you know! I need to get you out first!"

Ciel did not argue more and for the rest of the chasing he kept quiet. It's the least he can do to lessen the redhead's burden, after all, he was being rescued by someone who have no reason to do so. The chase never ended. At the moment, Grell is looking horrible and worn-out, with a few wounds from the angel; but the angel is looking as horrible. Ciel looked at him in concern, he didn't know if they could make it out alive, but he wanted to live a little more longer...for a little more longer...

Grell managed to dodge another sway of the angel's sword. He felt that he'd been running for hours now but the bright light of the sky outside is yet to meet his eyes._ 'How big is this manor anyway?!'_ He groaned, as another sharp object managed to make a scratch in his skin. This is really getting him pissed, so much for taking care of his smooth and beautiful skin! He tried to focus on getting out instead of focusing on killing the 'fluff ball' but said fluff ball is just making it really hard for him.

"You can't escape! No matter where you run!" The female angel growled, getting tired of chasing as well.

"Ah, what the hell." Grell took a detour and meet the angel half way taking the angel off guard. Making sure of Ciel's safety, he used the angel's moment of surprise to hit her with his roaring chainsaw. The sound of its blades tearing flesh made Ciel shudder and Grell thrilled with anticipation. He managed to tear one of the angel's wings and this made her scream in pain making Grell want to cut her more.

And so he did.

"Ciel darling, please close your eyes~"

Ciel did not argue and do as the redhead say, closing his eyes firmly.

Grell was grinning from ear to ear. Adrenaline rush, boiling inside of him, wanting to tear everything apart around him. It left the angel almost unrecognizable when he was done, how he had severed her body parts all over the place. He smiled proudly at himself but his celebration was cut short as the rambling of the ground he's standing at reminds him that the mansion is still in the middle of falling to the ground. He quickly turn back into running to find an exit.

"Can I open my eyes now?"

"If you want~ But I swear your manor lack something called an exit!"

Ciel huffed. "Why didn't you just finished that angel earlier when you can kill it that fast?"

"I did not really plan into killing her yet but she just pissed me off with her chest." Grell retorted, wrinkling his nose in distaste but more on the bitter side.

"Her chest?"

"Isn't it irritating how they bounce like that in front of me while she fought?! It was like rubbing it in my face that I don't have one! ! !"

"You DON'T have one." Ciel said, as a matter of fact.

Grell suddenly halted, held Ciel in front of him like you would to a toddler face-to-face, before he put him down...and sulk. "You cold, cold, cold, cruel man! ! ! How can you say something like that to me?!" Grell cried, gesturing many different kinds of dramatic poses in just a matter of second.

Ciel rubbed the bridge of his nose with his fingers, tending for his new found headache. He do not want to console the redhead at all about the matter but the still falling blocks of his manor is making him to think twice about his stubbornness. "Alright, I'm sorry! But this is not really the best time to be sulking about your...chest!"

The redhead ignored him still despite the small stones falling in his head, and continued to sulk.

"Fine! I'll go by myself!" Ciel growled, turning around, he continued on his own.

But it was a mistake.

As he took his third step, the ceiling above him had completely give in and started falling towards him; his breath hitched, his heart skipped a beat. And then everything went so fast and all he can remember was his name being called from behind him before there was nothing else but darkness.

. . . ~*SC*~ . . .  
_**TBC.**_

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_Chiibii:_

NUUUUUUUUUU! ! ! QnQ THIS IS ALL THAT ANGEL'S BREASTS FAULT! /sobs

I bet you can guest who that angel is...ehehehe~

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**_Please REVIEW! I am forever addicted to them~ QuQ  
Sankyuuu for reading yo~! *hearts*_**


	4. Chapter 4

_**Author's Note:**_

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YAYS! Here's an update for this week! OuO I'm really sorry this got super delay...I got distracted when my feels for my OTP(SebaGrell) came back to meh like unicorns and rainbows...XDD But dun worry my fellow CielxGrell supporters, I haven't forgotten about this fic!

The next update I will post will probably be somewhere next week on whatever fic I decided to update~ *rolls*

Hopes you likes this one~ As you can see, we are nearing the end! OuO (Yes, this is not the end yet because I suddenly don't want to end this yet too...LOL.)

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"...-el!"

"...-iel!"

"Ciel!"

Ciel stir and groaned at the sudden throbbing of his head. Slowly he opened his eyes, only to be faced with another blackness. He tried again, trying to focus and clear his sight by blinking a few more times, Grell's concerned face the first to greet him. He blinked again. "Grell...?"

Grell sighed in relief. "You scared me there..."

Ciel narrowed his eyes and took in his surrounding only to find nothing but still darkness. He looked back at the redhead on top of him, Grell's arms and knees are the only things stopping him from falling completely onto him. It was quite a suggestive position in his opinion and it's making him uncomfortable, not really remembering how they even get in that position. He was about to comment on it in a _not so nice_ way when something wet drops in his left cheek.

"Sorry about that..." Grell apologized weakly, letting out a shaky breath after.

Ciel look up at him in confusion. Reaching a hand to his cheek, he wipe it before bringing it up for him to see. His eyes widen. "Blood...?" He breathed, just then that he finally remembered what happened. The ceiling above him fell and now they are buried under it- Grell on top of him, to stop the boulders to fall completely on his small body. He once again look up and he finally noticed the blood dripping from the reaper's head to his face and down to his neck, staining the collar of his white dress shirt with the most red. He panicked, and was going to lean closer with the intention of wiping them away but Grell's hard glare made him to stay still.

"Don't move." The redhead warned, his eyes pointing at something between them near their stomach.

Ciel followed the redhead's gaze between their stomach, he was fine, no wounds but only a tattered vest. He wasn't sure what is wrong, finding himself looking so unharmed besides some petty scratches- until he saw it. A small glint of something sharp covered in deep red, something that is hard to notice from the pitch darkness of the small area they are at underneath. Ciel squinted, making sure that he was not just seeing things on his own, but it was right there, stabbing right through Grell's stomach from the boulder behind him, only a few inches away into harming his own person.

Ciel's eyes widen in fear, shock, and shame for himself. How could he not notice that the problem is not _always_ on his own but perhaps on someone else'. That maybe he is not the only one that can get into such pathetic situations, that he is not the only one who can feel hurt, sadness, and pain. His overbearing self-pity, such arrogance. How could he always think of only himself?

Even in situations like this...how could he think only of himself...?

"Don't panic...I promise it will not reach you~" Grell forced a smile, trying to comfort the young earl.

It was evident in Ciel's visible eye that he was indeed, afraid. He cannot hide it anymore, he was afraid, afraid of everything. He even felt like crying again, but not because of his current predicament, but because of the idiot on top of him. Something like this...why go as far as to do something like this? And he was never even kind to him to begin with. "Idiot...you could have just left me to die and save yourself."

Grell frowned at the earl's statement. "But what will it bring to me~? I can't possibly leave my one true love behind!" He almost snapped, coughing up a little when he choked from the blood pouring in his mouth to his jaw and neck in the middle of his dramatic dialogue.

Silence.

Ciel kept quiet, trying to ignore the redhead's another confession of love for him. It was a lie, he knew it was a lie. It must be. This is all a game for the red reaper and nothing else. _'A game...worth dying for?'_ He shook his head. Why? Grell had no reason to love him, he does not deserve it. Ciel does not deserve anything that the redhead is giving him- his love, his kindness, nothing. Just like Grell does not deserve anything from him for killing his aunt, only his hate. Nothing else but his hatred towards him.

And yet, why was he unable to hate him now? Or perhaps this is only the redhead's way of atoning for his felony back then?

Ciel tsked, looking away from the redhead on top of him, his eyes narrowed in a mixture of annoyance, confusion, and...sadness. "Don't mess with me."

"Is that what you think? That I'm only messing with you, Ciel?" Grell then gave him a sad smile. "I can't blame you though, after all we have quite an unpleasant history together..."

"Then, why do this? I don't understand you, whatever is going on inside that head of yours."

Grell chuckled, "It's alright if you don't understand how I feel. Now, if you did and still felt that way...then I'd worry and probably get sad and depress."

"Like you're capable of such emotions. You did kill my aunt in a very cruel manner after all, despite all that you've been through together."

This made the redhead frown. "I'm not a demon, Ciel." He then let out a sigh, looking sadly at the young earl. "I might have done that but, I swear I regretted it and was really sorry...just, please...try to believe me this time..." He pleaded, suddenly he felt another heavy weight falls on his left shoulder catching him off guard and making his left arm to waver, thankfully, with the last of his remaining strength, he still manage to keep his position and the sharp object stabbing through him safely away from harming the young Ciel under him. Muttering some curses under his breath, he gasped. "Sorry...I think your mansion is not yet done from falling apart..."

Ciel gulped, obviously frightened by the brief moment. "A-are you alright...?"

"I'm fine darling~ Don't mind me too much~ I'm a Death God remember?" Grell grinned, but it did not last as he felt the alarming fact that, even though he IS a death god, his body is starting to weaken. Groaning, he closed his eyes to concentrate more in preserving what little remains of his energy.

Ciel stare at the redhead worriedly. Seeing the other in pain somehow made him angry, he wanted to touch him- caress his face soothingly while in his embrace...

But...it will never work for the both of them.

It does not matter...

Even if they both feel the same for each other. It will never work.

He was chained with Death. Grell is a free soul, a death god. In just a short period of time, he knew the redhead will eventually find another man to give his affections to.

And the redhead will forget all about him.

Just like any other human...without importance.

The thought was painful, but it was the truth. He shouldn't have let himself fall for the reaper's fickle feelings. He shouldn't have let himself be fond of his touches, his warmth, his comforting presence. He shouldn't have let himself...silently fall in love with him. He is human. Grell is immortal. However you look at it, they are never meant for each other. They don't match, and far different from one another.

It will never work.

Pushing his thoughts in the back of his head, he watched the redhead on top of him in concern, who in the moment of silence have closed his eyes in concentration, and eyeing the sharp object penetrating the reaper's stomach every now and then. He cannot help but be worried, even though he knew that Grell was an immortal being and will not die in just some random object stabbing in his body, the redhead was quite loosing a lot of blood in the passing seconds.

"Grell..." He called softly.

Grell slowly opened an eye to look at the young earl, not spending anymore energy for a word as a response.

"When I said I will never forgive you-"

"Wait, you're bringing that up NOW? Please...love, I'm injured. I need kindness~!" Grell huffed, groaning at the pain the little movement causes, closing back his eye again.

Ciel sighed, a bit annoyed by being cut off of his sentence. "I didn't mean it."

This made the redhead open both of his eyes and stare at the young earl in surprise and disbelief. "You didn't?"

"No, I was just caught up by my anger..."

Grell's face brighten, suddenly forgetting any physical pain from every part of his body. "Ohh~ Ciel! I would have hugged you and kiss you right now! But my hands are quite full at the moment..." He squeal and then scowl at the sharp object piercing him, separating him from the child below him.

Ciel faked a look of disgust at the redhead's proposal of a hug and a kiss, but deep down inside, he wanted it. He _needed_ it, badly. He shook his head, feeling his face heating up at the thought of it, he immediately try to find something to distract himself away from it. "Does it hurt?" He then asked after a moment, eyeing the sharp object and then looking at the redhead's face- wanting for the topic to change completely.

Grell almost rolled his eyes. He was bleeding heavily, the sharp thing- whatever it is, is stabbing from his lower back and through his stomach, what else could he feel? Not to mention the not quite light weight of the huge boulders piling in his back. "No, Ciel darling. It feels GREAT~" He said, in complete sarcasm.

Ciel averted his eyes to the side, blushing from embarrassment. He huffed, his lower lip poking in a pout without him knowing it. "I was just making sure..."

"Making sure of what?! That I'm in pain?! Is my pain pleasing to you? Huh? Well then, let me tell you the truth. Yes, Ciel. I'm in complete pain right now! Every nerve in my body is aching and slowly dying one by one-" Grell snapped, the thought of preserving his small amount of energy by not spending them in talking too much, completely lost in his head.

"I didn't mean it like that-!" Ciel cut off, but the redhead is not quite done yet. He have honestly pushed a button without him knowing it.

"Are you some kind of a sadist, Ciel? Have you not heard of the statement, 'Never ask your wife if it hurts during childbirth'? Because the obviousness is very upsetting and it makes us bitter about the painful situation!"

Ciel then gave him a flat look. "You're not in childbi-"

"YES, CIEL. THANK YOU VERY MUCH."

Regardless the situation, Ciel was still able to smile at the redhead's antics. Even though he's in pain, and in a life and death situation, the redhead's nature is still kicking in. This somehow is making his unease to fade, and his fear to subside. It's a wonder how the redhead can make him feel safe in situations just by being himself.

He had noticed it many times before, but he was never able to admit it to himself. Grell was really beautiful, and at times adorable if he dare say so. Despite his childish and dramatic tendencies, his faults- everything that many, including himself, had saw as the things that made him imperfect was in fact the things that makes the redhead perfect in every way.

"What are you smiling at?" Grell questioned, still looking all pissed off.

Ciel chuckled. "Nothing, I just thought you were really beautiful when you're seriously pissed off. I would love to hug you right now if only I could..." He said, uncharacteristically sweet and sincere. With a rare smile gracing his lips, he reached a hand to touch the reaper's face gently.

Grell tensed at the earl's sudden gentle touch and blushed really hard at his words. "R-really? You think I'm beautiful...?" He breathed, leaning to the young earl's touch.

Ciel nodded.

"And you want to hug me...?" The redhead asked again, his eyes starting to regain its normal glow.

"Yes." Ciel answered truthfully, there is no reason for him to lie anymore specially when this might be their last meeting- he might have actually die this way, buried under his own home. Then, might as well be true to himself even just this once.

"And...a kiss too?"

This startled Ciel for a moment, _'Did I miss something?' _He thought, genuinely confused at how did their conversation get there. He then cleared his throat, unsure of what to say. "Maybe...?"

Grell's face suddenly brightens and his eyes sparkled like rainbows in the sky, and despite his current_ weak_ condition, he was squealing his lungs out. "Alright, Ciel~ Close you eyes!"

"W-what...?"

"Just close your eyes! I don't really want you to see this!" The redhead snapped again, but Ciel comply this time just leaving it all in the hands of his new found _savior_. "No peeking no matter what happened, okay!"

Eyes still closed, Ciel can't help but roll his eyes.

"Hey, I saw that!"

Ciel only made a sound of annoyance and nothing more. Soon enough, there was the sound of shuffling, careful movements and a grunt, and then the feeling of slowly sinking...falling. He was startled but kept his agreement with the redhead and keep his eyes closed. After a short moment of slowly falling into nothingness, he felt the breeze outside touch his face and the sudden sunlight penetrating his eyelid, and his feet then finally touching the hard ground. Immediately, he opened his eyes and gasped to see that they were now outside of his fallen mansion.

Taking in more of his surroundings, he spotted his mansion just a few meters away from where he stands, with nothing left but a memory. He then turn to the redhead who was now grinning widely at him.

"How did you...?"

"I made a portal~ But I have to make it small so that the boulders won't come with us. And also because I don't really have the energy left to spend..."

Ciel then raised an eyebrow. "Why did you not just made a portal in the first place before all this? And where did you get the energy to suddenly create a portal?" He questioned, a bit irritated at the thought of having been easily out here before his mansion completely falls into the ground with a portal.

"Hey, portals are hard to create! It's not something I can magically open at anytime I want! It needs serious concentration and _time _and I don't think I can do that while your mansion is starting to fall apart now, can it? The cellar might have even fallen apart first before I can create a portal!" Grell exclaimed but then started blushing and wiggling like a very healthy person and not someone who's injured and had loss a lot of blood, to answer the child's second question. "B-because you said I'm beautiful~ And that you want to hug me~"

Ciel considered the redhead's first explanation, feeling a bit of shame for being too demanding and bossy after all the redhead had done to save his little sorry self. He sighed, he will have to change this attitude of his after all this is over. "You regain some energy just by a promise of a hug?"

"And a kiss too, Ciel~! Don't forget! ! !"

Ciel gave him a flat look. "I never said anything about kissing."

Grell gasped. "You did! ! ! You said-"

"I said, 'maybe'." Ciel then quickly walked pass by the redhead, leaving him behind to search for some of his servants and maybe Sebastian, and also to hide his blushing face from the red reaper.

"Whaa...that's so cruel! You cruel man! How could you trick a lady like that?! How could you?! You sadistic little-" Grell cried, but then was immediately cut off by the sudden dizziness he felt and then black...pitch black. To the hard ground, his body fell lifeless with a tud.

Ciel halted in his walk, turning around to see the redhead's body on the floor, unmoving. His eyes widen, he quickly went back to him, cursing under his breath as he once again tried to leave the redhead behind. Shaking in sheer panic, he knelt beside him, "Grell! Grell, are you-"

"I'm fine...I just blacked out for a moment there but I'm fine~ Probably because I pushed myself a bit too hard to create a portal...and I think I'm quite low on blood at the moment...and I talk too much~" The redhead said weakly with a soft giggle, heaving heavy breaths as his heart won't stop pounding hard in his chest and the throbbing of his head from dizziness becoming awefully painful. Also, the fact that his body won't heal his wound in his stomach is not really helping, his body refused to spend anymore energy to heal his wounds because he have too little left to even support his own life.

"You always talk too much..." Ciel said playfully though, sadly.

Grell then gave him a weak smile, "Go ahead first and look for Sebastian or your friends...I'll just rest up for a bit, I'll catch on you later...~" His words fading into small intakes of breath.

Ciel's eyes widen in fear. The redhead say those words like nothing, but to him, it sounded like Grell is already saying his goodbye to him. No...he will not leave him again. He will not try to ever leave him behind ever again. So please... "No, I don't want to go."

The redhead look up at him in confusion.

"I will not try to leave you behind again! I will never...so please, let me stay!" Ciel then leaned down in Grell's chest gently, giving him an awkward hug and burying his face to the crook of the reaper's neck to not give Grell's heaving chest the pressure of his weight. "Please, don't die..."

Grell was greatly taken aback by the child's actions...did he really think that he was going to die? Maybe he was really going to die...just like this. But,_ 'What an adorable thing to say~' _He let out a small laugh. "Silly~ What are you talking about, Ciel? I'm not yet going to die...everything's going to be fine, calm down little darling~"

Ciel did not respond but only tighten his hold onto the redhead.

"Geez, you're so needy when you're scared~" Grell giggles softly. "So cute~"

Ciel groaned, he was serious, but Grell really had to take_ every_ situation like a joke, didn't he? "Shut up! Just stop talking and stay alive for me!" He demanded, his words muffled with his face still buried firmly to the reaper's shirt collar.

Grell smiled at the young earl and took a deep breath. It was starting to get really hard even just to breathe, his body won't function correctly anymore, he can't even feel a single nerve moving in his body like they all have stopped already and his stubborn consciousness was the only thing left alive in him, but even his stubbornness to keep awake is already slipping away from his body. He cannot stay... "But it's kind of hard to stay awake..." He breathed weakly, his eyes starting to get heavy forcing them to close and send him into silent darkness.

Ciel immediately pushed away to stare at the redhead with glassy and fearful eyes, seeing the reaper's consciousness fading away, he tensed and panic. He was again watching someone dear to him slip from him with his own eyes...in front of him. He was so close yet, he can't do anything for him. Why did he always have to watch such hurtful scenes every time? This is the reason why he deny himself the joy of creating a new start, because in the end it will only cause new pain and sufferings for him. He cannot allow this to happen again...he will not allow it.

"I love you. Please stay with me...keep your eyes open and look only at me!" He pleaded, the tears he was trying hard to hold back finally beginning to fall uncontrollably from his pained looking eyes, his eye-patch gone from a long time ago when they were trapped underneath his fallen mansion and his eye with the seal of his contract with Sebastian now visible to the world.

But even this, even his called 'help' in exchange of his soul...cannot help him save the person he had come to love. "I love you...please..."

The child's words gave the redhead a shock and it somehow delayed his consciousness to completely slip away. Grell was not even expecting that, or was he just hallucinating? But no, Ciel had said it, it was his voice. And the wet drops of tears falling to his cheeks, they are real.

Ciel was shedding them for him.

It was sad and tragic that such a touching and romantic scene like this, that he loved in every story he had read, could only be experienced at the last minute of your life. He smiled sadly, his own tired eyes starting to get blur with his own welling up tears.

"Hearing a love confession in the moment of death is not fun at all."

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_**TBC.**_

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_Chiibii:_

Let's just all pretend that we don't see any wrong grammars in this chapter...just like we practiced~! LOL. XDD

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**_Please REVIEW! It keeps me alive~ ouo  
Sankyuuu for reading yo~! *hearts*_**


	5. Chapter 5

_**Author's Note:**_

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OMOOO~ /sobness I finally updated something...QuQ And please dun hates me for updating this first than my SebaGrells...I just...I'm at lost at the moment and was like "HUUUUUH?" in all my SebaGrell fics. Will probably have to re-read them all to know what's happening on them again. FUUU~ = 3= school is really sucking the life out of me the pass days...month. I truly apologize...

But for some unknown reason...this fic was what clears in my mind, so might as well write whatever is left in my brain before I forgot ALL of them. TT 3TT

**SANKYUUU VERY MUCH FOR THE CONTINUED SUPPORT! I LOVES YOU ALL IN A PLURAL FORM! ! ! QuQ**

Hopes you likes~

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Ciel sat quietly on the hard cement, his back leaning against a tree with the reaper's head carefully cradled in his lap, never taking his eyes off of him as he kept petting his hair lovingly. Brushing a few strands of blood-matted hair off of the redhead's face gently, Ciel gave his forehead a soft and lingering kiss. It was innocent in every way, but full of many things and emotions that he cannot convey in words.

Slowly, Grell opened his eyes, loving the feel of being pampered specially in his moment of weakness. If not for his drained strength, he would have squeal and jump around with joy at the loving gesture. Ciel's insistent and _unexpected_ caring side had kept him awake and conscious for a longer period of time. It was the greatest feeling, being treated with such gentleness - with_ love_, and so his stubbornness had refused to surrender his consciousness just yet to not miss any of it.

It's not everyday that someone would treat him in such a way, rather, there's not one event that he had been treated kindly. The kindest thing that he can think about that had been done to him was actually being ignored - being left alone without any kind of injuries.

He grinned, staring back at the young earl who's looking back at him with sad and tired eyes. "Darling, you missed the spot~" He said, pursing his lips - that he thought would look adorable - to indicate the 'missed spot'.

Ciel's face burned red as the reaper's words sink in, understanding what he is referring to. If the situation has not been so dire, he have already harm the grinning man in so many ways and kill him himself. But he can't do that now, can he? Not after all that had happened. He doubt he could ever bring harm to him again just like before through his loyal butler. There's just so many things that changed in him and in between them in just a short period that they were together.

And whatever those changes are, he was glad for it.

The redheaded reaper was actually not that bad as a companion, he was, in all Ciel's honesty, was in fact _fun_ to be with. Always so playful, so naive, but will always be the reliable person in times that you needed him to be. His beauty and uniqueness was also not that hard to miss, but his flamboyant personality had always stopped people around him to truly appreciate what he is worth before they could even truly know him. They are quick to judge, putting it into the front of their very eyes and blocking anything else. Their judgement would cover the redhead from head-to-toe, and they will look at him in disgust with their scrutinizing eyes.

However you look at it, it was not fair for the redhead. Even though Grell will show no concern about it, Ciel knew it affected him more than anything else; seeing that it was what hinders for someone to _love_ him - their own degrading judgement.

If only those people had lend even just a little bit of their time to fully look at him and know him then, they will also see the beauty that the redhead truly possess...

He knew, because all this time, he was one of those people.

But now that he was the fortunate one to know the redhead more than what his judgement had made him, he'd rather take it all to himself.

Ciel would rather be the only one to see who the redhead truly is besides all his flaws and faults.

He wanted all of him to be his, and his alone.

He wanted to know more of him...and he will.

The young earl then smirk inwardly to himself, of how possessive he have become, and to _Grell_ of all people. Who would have thought he will be able to love again after all the pain he had been put through in his young age. It's true that he care about Elizabeth but...what he felt for her is not something like that; it is more of a brotherly love. But Grell was something special, unlike any other person he have encountered, that even in his current weak situation, the redhead was still so...himself.

And he love him for that, but envy him at the same time.

The reaper was always so care-free and always looking so happy...

Why can't he do that? He knew that behind the redhead's smile, were tears and pain as well but still the redhead was able to smile and look happy for the sake of the people around him. Making everyone not to feel sorry nor worry about him...while he, on the other hand, only made the people around him feel even more worried in his false show of strength. In his cold, and apathetic attitude to hide all his weaknesses, only made him seem so pitiable.

Ciel gave the redhead a glance once more, who at the moment as the young earl's thoughts were running wild, was still pursing his lips impatiently awaiting for the earl's own lips to close the gap between them. His blush returned, his face contorted in what appears to be a scowl in his embarrassment, but it was gone as soon as he took a deep breath and compose himself.

Grell was sure he felt the child tensed and was ready to strike him somehow, but it never came. And instead, it was the opposite.

"If you managed to stay with me until help comes...then I'll consider it." Ciel then said uncharacteristically shy, averting his eyes to the side as his face heat up more, feeling more awkward than he ever did before.

Grell's lips form an 'o' with the young earl's unexpected reply, looking genuinely surprised. But then he smiled, "Aww...Ciel, you're so unfair sometimes..." He pouted playfully, "What if I didn't get throu-"

Ciel however, was quick to cut him off with his thumb brushing the redhead's lower lip gently. "Then you'll just have to stay strong for me until help comes, okay?" He said soothingly, lowering his head until his face was close enough to give the redhead a gentle kiss just at the side of his pouting lips.

"You were really doing that on purpose..."

"Maybe." Ciel answered playfully, a smirk very noticeable on his childish face.

"And I can see your smirk clearly, you know."

"It was intended for you to see."

"Ahh, such a cruel man~ You're always breaking my heart~! And now with your teasing..." Grell cried out dramatically, lacing his hands together to his chest where his heart should be. Though, the whole act were less more enthusiastic as it was meant in his current weak state, reminding him that he was still not safe from the creeping hands of Death. It was ironic how a _Death God_ could still be haunted by Death himself.

The thought of Death always excites him, specially the cruel way to initiate it in his victims. But now that it was happening to him, and that someone, who unexpectedly had come to like him as well, was beside him and would definitely shed tears in his loss, seems so dreadful rather than exciting anymore.

He was so sure that his death would be very, very lonely, not even one to take notice or feel sadness in his disappearance.

But maybe that would be less painful than having to leave someone behind?

"Would you hold my hand, Ciel~? They feel so empty without someone holding them..."

Ciel doesn't need to be asked twice, as he laced his hand together with the reaper's hand as soon as he was asked. However, the feel of the redhead's hand had greatly startled him at how cold it was becoming. The comforting warmth that Grell's hands usually have was completely gone, despite the gloves that was still covering his hands, they were still cold.

It was alarming...

If this continues, the redhead will be in a more terrible condition than he is now. He would have to do something...but what can he do?

He can't do anything...without his butler, he was useless...

Helpless.

A child that can't even tie his own shoes.

Looking back at his hand laced with the reaper's hand together, it was obvious how small his hand is compared to the feminine hand of the redhead. Reminding him how small he really is to the world, nothing but a mere child who can't do anything for himself without the help of others. Even though he tried hard to be independent, it was evident that he was still dependent on others, specially to his butler. All he do was order people around him, always expectant of his butler to save him to any trouble he will be put into...

That's why in this situation where his butler had not keep up in his expectation, he woke up. Grell was right when he said that he has everything around him, he was just too busy using them as his pawns for his own selfish desires - for the fulfillment of his revenge - to fully notice.

He was uninterested, unconcerned about everything. But now, he wanted to do everything that he could for the person who have become very important to him. He doesn't care anymore. Even if it was weird, even if it was sudden, even if they had an unpleasant history together...

Even if they were not perfect for each other...

He doesn't care. And he doesn't need everyone's opinion about it. All they know is to judge, but in the end those people really doesn't care.

They don't need to be perfect for each other, they don't need to have a long courting ritual, as long as they feel the same for each other, and that they know that it was true then it's fine. They can be both happy.

_He_ can be happy.

He still can...

It took him this long to finally realize it.

That's why, just this once, he wanted to be able to do something for someone that he love.

_'Anything...'_

Ciel brought the reaper's hand into his face and nuzzle the back of his hand lovingly, without uttering a single word, he closed his eyes.

Grell sighed softly, his tensed and pained muscles relaxing at the little warmth that Ciel's lithe body provides. "Ohh darling~ You're making it harder for me to die in_ peace_~"

Ciel's brows furrowed in mild anger, his lips forming into a frown. He was trying so hard to put the thought of the redhead's possible death in the back of his head, but said redhead just really need to keep reminding him of it. He's not really going to leave him, is he? Or was Grell really that sure of his incoming death that he wanted for him to already accept it? Was it easier that way...?

No...he will not accept it.

He will NOT accept it.

"Promise me something." He said, using his usual tone of high authority when commanding his little pawns. He knew Grell hated that tone, being bossed around, but he doesn't care if it sounded that way. He was desperate, and if this will at least make the redhead listen and obey his order even if he hated him for it, then so be it.

It is what he is only good at, after all - to order and demand.

Grell was a bit taken aback by the sudden change of the child's mood. Had he said something? Maybe he did, or else this would not have happened. Or maybe the child had had enough of him...he-

"Grell, please promise-" Ciel repeated, his tone not changing, but corrected himself as he look him straight in his eyes, "No, I order you..." his eyes almost glowed in determination, before finally, with all his being, shouted firmly - desperately, "I order you to not die and stay with me as long as I live!"

Grell's eyes widen, and he cannot help but stare; the child successfully surprising him once more. How many more surprises has the child have there for him? _'What a very unpredictable child~'_ He thought, smiling to himself. He was thoroughly TOUCHED. The young Phantomhive was not one to utter words that he does not mean, if the child meant every word he had just said then, who was he to deny such offer of companionship? Though the tone that was used never slipped his ears. "Ohh my~ That sounded more of a proposal than an order, Ciel~ You're not going to marry me now, are you~?" He said playfully.

This only made Ciel's frown deepened, and tears was threateningly welling up once again in the edge of his eyes, but he did not say anything more.

Grell sighed. "Ciel..."

"No...stop! I don't want to hear it!"

"Ciel, listen to me." Grell said firmly this time, "You can't always order people around you, Ciel. You can't make them obey your every command, that only works for your butler you know."

"But I-"

"Darling, you cannot order someone not to die just like you cannot order the dead to rise and kneel at your feet. That's just...NO." He said again, almost scolding the little earl. And this only resulted for the earl to look more hurt, saddened, and angry; his eyes glassy with all his holding back tears. Seeing this, he was also saddened and perhaps a bit guilty. Ciel was being serious and he was being an ass..._again_. Reaching out his other hand that Ciel is not holding to caress the child's face gently, he whisper to him. "I'm sorry..."

Ciel's expression softened, leaning to the gentle touch of the redhead's hand, his eyes now filled with even more sadness that he does not allow to let out, or he _try_ not to. "Then...what should I do...? You won't listen to me..." He sobbed. "What should I...? I don't want you to leave me...I don't want you to leave!" He cried out, his tears finally falling completely from his saddened eyes. "Please don't leave me...please..." He pleaded, moving the redhead closer to his chest, almost weightless in his arms.

Grell smiled at him, "See~? Isn't that more pleasing to hear than being ordered to?"

Ciel snivel, "W-will you now promise me then...please...?" His voice cracking in his every word as it passed through his quivering lips.

The high and mighty child looking so weak, so vulnerable. Grell can't help but to admire the sight. He knew it took a lot of the child's courage to let other people see him in that state, being the one who care more about himself than anything else. How fortunate he is to be the one to see this. "Alright, I promise I will never leave you~" He said, with all his sincerity.

"And will stay with me as long as I live." Ciel added, correcting him.

Grell almost rolled his eyes. Of course, the child was still Ciel Phantomhive after all. He may have let the redhead see a side of him that he never let anyone else to see, but Ciel will still make sure that everything goes the way he wants it to go. He sighed, "Yes, and I will stay with you as long as you live~ Does that satisfy you now,_ my lord_?"

"Did you mean it?"

"Of course I did~! Darling, don't you trust me?"

"No." The young earl responded instantly, without any sign of hesitation nor doubt at all.

A frown then graced the redhead's lips. "Well, that was very straight forward." Grell huffed.

Ciel then smile at him, his tears and sobs dying down into small - barely noticeable - hiccups. "I'm only joking. You're not the only one who can joke at times like this."

Grell's face then contorted into a mild shock, staring at the earl's face for a moment, he cannot help but giggle. "Ahh, you're learning fast~ Now, how about that kiss-"

It was now Ciel's turn to frown, though deep inside, he was smiling widely that could ever compete with the Undertaker. "No." He cut off immediately.

"Is that a joke too~?"

"I only tell a joke _once_ a year."

There was a pause, and then an adorable pout. "That's bullshit."

"You know, Sebastian will not be happy hearing that word utter in my presence." Ciel then said, a smirk creeping at the edge of his lips.

"Well, that's bullshit too." Grell huffed, his pout still in place.

Ciel cannot help but roll his eyes, his smirk becoming more noticeable. He wonder how can they have a relationship if they are always like this? It will probably be_ awkward - _for the lack of word to describe it. Well, for him at least. And thinking more of doing intimate things together just added up to its awkwardness. Even though he had already admitted his feelings for the redhead and accepted it, he still wasn't able to see himself being intimately close to him, like THAT close. Just the thought of kissing his lips makes him feel weird, sending a very uncomfortable feeling to his veins further down his body.

At least kissing him in the forehead or in his cheeks only make him feel like he was kissing a sibling, or his grandma...okay, no wait. You didn't hear him say that. And he wasn't about to say it out loud to the redhead either. He was trying to build a relationship with him after all - the good kind of relationship.

He coughs awkwardly, trying to straighten his thoughts.

Grell raised an eyebrow at the gesture, but continued, "And speaking of Sebas-chan~ He has finally come~" He announced cheerfully. _Finally_, now that he knew the young earl will finally be safe with the demon butler around, he can now rest and stop his feeling of anxiety. He can't really be sure that there will be no more angels to target the little earl while he was out of consciousness, but it's fine now. He can now rest with his mind in peace.

Ciel's eyes widen at the information. Finally, his butler had come to help them? He will make sure to have a long lecture for the butler after all this is over, he thought, but for now he needed him to help with the redhead's condition. "Where...is he near?"

"He is~ Go and find him-"

"No. There's no need. I'll call him through our contract seal so he could locate us." He stood, laying Grell's weak body to the ground carefully, before giving him a side glance. "You didn't think I'll leave you again, did you?"

"So stubborn~ Alright, do what you have to do~ And then I'll have my kiss~" Grell smiled, winking as he tried to find himself a more comfortable position and relax.

Ciel blushed _again _at the thought, turning his back immediately to hide his reddened face and to call out for his butler through their contract seal as he stood firmly to concentrate. It was only for a brief moment, as the seal in his eye glows, he knew his butler will finally come to their rescue.

. . . ~*SC*~ . . .

Sebastian stare at the fallen mansion of his master in concern. What had happened? Was he too late? He knew his master was still alive, he can feel it, their contract has not yet been broken. But where is he now? The seal in the back of his hand had glowed for several times but he was not able to respond. The angels' had set him up. They attacked knowing that he's not around to protect his master, also making sure that he will not be able to come to his rescue.

The whole London was engulfed in large flames, and Pluto had turned against them. Thankfully, the servants had managed to chase the hell-hound away from the manor, which only give more chaos at the town. Sebastian saw it with his own eyes. He was sure another angel was responsible for the current state of the Phantomhive manor, other than the one he fought a while ago.

Such disgusting creatures.

He should have known.

Feeling the burning sensation in the back of his hand, his eyes quickly glance at the painfully glowing seal. His master was calling again. Finally, he was able to locate his whereabouts.

Sebastian rushed to where he sensed his master is, he was not far - in fact, just around the Phantomhive forest. But as he got closer to where the child is, he felt another presence together with his young master. He tensed, but then having felt the familiar presence of a Death God, he sighed in relief. _'So it was Grell?'_ He thought, a smirk ghosting his lips. He half expected it, but he had his doubts as well. He also thought that the redhead was only playing around, he did not expect him to be so serious this time.

He had not truly expect for the redhead to be fond of _children_, specially with his young master.

If he knew better...he would thought that the redhead will cower somewhere instead of protecting someone. Well, except when being bribe or -

Sebastian shook his head immediately as the thought of his young master making another promise to the redhead of a day with him cross his mind. His master will NEVER do that again. And the redhead seems to be more interested in his Bocchan now than in him. After all, it was his master that Grell had come running to to save from an angel and not HIM.

And no, he was not being jealous.

He was NOT indicating anything else with that last sentence either.

NO.

"Sebastian! Where have you been?!" Ciel yelled, his anger for his butler emitting all over his body. And Sebastian can clearly see it literally coming out of him.

"I truly apologize, young master. I ha-"

"Enough. Grell is injured, we need to take him somewhere to tend to his wounds..." Ciel cut him off, and quickly turned to face the redhead again, only to find him with his eyes closed and completely still - too still for his own liking._ 'What...no...'_ His breath seems to stop for a brief moment at the sight, unbelieving eyes widened as he kneel beside the redhead. "Grell, it's okay. Sebastian is here now...wake up." He called softly, "Grell...please..."

But there was no response.

"My lord-"

"No...no. He was fine just a while ago...he was..." Ciel breathed, panic started consuming his whole body.

"Young master, we have to-" Sebastian tried again, but his words has fallen into deaf ears as Ciel only cut him off once again.

"No!" The earl snapped at him. "Grell, please wake up...wake up!" Ciel called again, he shook him gently but there was still no response. "Please...Grell..." He repeated, again and again...his widened eyes burning once again as tears forced themselves out, his pained azure eyes becoming darker as his tears comes to blur his vision. But he did not stop, he called his name over and over again.

No.

He will not stop...

He will continue to call his name until he hears him and finally wakes up.

And so Ciel continued, never stopping even for a second.

Not giving his mind a chance to think. Because he was trying...

He was trying to ignore the fact that,

Grell had stopped breathing.

"Bocchan..." Sebastian called sadly - for the third time - after a moment, hesitating from reaching out for his young master to calm him but as his hand neared the young earl, Ciel snapped at him again. The child swatted his hand away only to have the other to slap him hard on his cheek; his face was forced to the side at the unexpected blow. To say that Sebastian was shocked is an understatement. His eyes widened, and for a moment remained still and unmoving from his position.

"This is all your fault!" Ciel cried out, pointing an accusing finger at the demon butler's direction, tears uncontrollably falling down his cheeks, "If only you had come sooner...he-"

"Young master...I-"

"Shut up! Just...shut the hell up! ! !" He sobbed more, "Why...do I really deserve this, Sebastian...? Why..." He was tired, and everything hurts. Ciel hugged himself, tightly, wanting everything to fade. He does not like this feeling. All of him, his whole being...feels like falling apart. It's so painful, the feeling of loss...the thing he have always hated. He hated it...

How he hated it...

But it is what was_ always_ left of him,

What his soul, his heart, his whole being is composed of...

HATE.

Nothing else but the feeling of hatred.

Sebastian watched his master with sympathetic eyes. How broken the child looked, just like the first he met him - or maybe more so. How can the redhead put his master in such a state in his loss with only a short period of time. Last time he checked, his master had kicked the redhead out of his manor with an overwhelming hate and unforgiveness.

"Grell...please don't do this. Y-you promised...please, open your eyes..." The earl tried again, "I'm right here...look at me...please look at me..." Ciel continued to sob, his small arms wrapped around the reaper's shoulder once again with his head buried in the crook of the redhead's neck, murmuring his desperate request, pleading for him to wake up. "Please...no..."

"Bocchan, we have to go..."

"No...Sebastian, do something! Please do something...anything..." He continued to cry, not letting go of his tight hold to Grell's lifeless body.

Sebastian's expression then almost mirrored the sadness and brokenness that his master has, "I can't..." He breathed, closing his eyes as he detest himself of what he was about to re-lay to his young master. With a sorrowful look on his face, Sebastian continued,

"_He's gone._"

. . . ~*SC*~ . . .  
_**TBC.**_

* * *

_Chiibii:_

*shields self from whatever you are throwing this way* Nuuuu~! ! ! Dun hates me! It wasn't my fault! It was Sadie's! Perhaps you just give me GENTLY whatever you're holding now and I'll throw it at him for you, yeah? OuO

/coughs

Uhh...well, this was the end supposedly but it's not yet done completely. The part two will have to be done in a different chapter because Sadie needed the page break! And no...no lines will have to do~! = 3= so yeah...part two of the END will have to be in another chapter yo~

Another TEARFUL chapter awaits~! baiibaii for nau~ ouo

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**_Please REVIEW! AMG. I so miss reading all your lovely reviews!_**

**_I feel like we've been gone for a year.../sobs_**


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